Sunday, May 31, 2009
everyone.. is moving forward.. but im not.. everyone.. is wanting time to pass faster.. but.. i want it to stop... everyone.. is facing watever they hav now. but then.. i dont know how to face wat im suppose to now.... today for the whole long day.. i was.. not concentrating at all... not even when i was cutting food...not even.. when i was standing... i cant even rmb the little details im supposed to... small little details like time n place... n i jus messed everything up....
i must get over this soon.. but.. i dont know how to... i hav no idea on wat im doing... my gosh.. i wish tt... i know who i am now... cause.. i really dont seem to be myself.. really.. 10% of me... wish tt tues will come.. so.. there will be a numb.. but... 90% of me.. wish tt tues wont come.. cause... it proves tt time is flying really fast yea.. (: ur right.. all im doing.. is assuming.. cause i dont hav anymore push to make me not assume...reality in life.. is really smth painful...
but anyways.. had a little fun during chalet today.. cause of the lack of sleep... i slept pretty late yest cause i couldnt fall asleep.. (: haha.. lol right.. (: intend to go for swimming in the morning tmr.. (: ok relax ppl.. wat i mean.. is swiming jus using free style hand movement.. it can work.. :) tts wat my swimming coach taught me.. (: can improve stamina n arm strength since i cannot run or wat now.... (: no choice.. tts the only way tt can keep my stamina for now.. or not aft 1 mth my stamina will drop cause.. im not even supposed to walk so much now days.. haha.. (:
mayb i shall stop assuming.. mayb its time i really face wat im going through now... mayb.. its time.. i stop mayb-ing... u neo today.. i went wif my class mates to watch monster VS alien... (: n the show.. was quite touching.. cause.. on the verge of death.. they still didnt forget tt they were a team.. :D tts the part tt really touched me... cause.. tts wat a team really is... in movies.. the hav happy happy endings.. but in real life.. its so different....endings.. might not be happy...
its time i learn how to pick myself up.. its time i learn how to let go.. i still rmbed.. i said tt.. if we walk down a path n turn.. the other path.. will be filled wif diff music.. may it be smoothing classic pop rock.. we still hav to walk down the path.... now im stuck in two paths.. one wif music first n then a black out.. but the other one is... wif the black out first n then the music.. so.... i guess.. time is the only cure for me... i dont know.. im not sure wat im even thinking of now.. im not breaking down anytime.. cause.. i alr....
and I miss you already
8:59 AM
