this is.. tearing me apart so badly..i really.. dont neo how to stand up now... n i really dont know... the hurt..is far too much then wat i can take i guess... but wat wan qing said is right.. this is lfe.. i hav to make my own decision... somehow.. arg shit... my heart n mind.. is like shattered glass... n its my decision..if i want to pick up all the shattered glass or not... im tyring to numb myself.. but i cant.. im trying to think abt it..but i cant too... im stuck in the middle of thinking n numbing... i want to do either of this.. but i cant... i dont know wat i shld do.. its like.. 1.28 now.. n i cant get to sleep.. cause.. there is this smth in my mind.. tmr is my class chalet... n im going out wif them early in the morning.. someone.. pls.. tell me how to last through tt day... pls... its a long day... but.. no matter how long it is.. the thing.. still wont get through or out of my mind... i hav fallen... n.. i dont know how to pick myself up... hanging on or letting go... i dont know.. if i hang on... there will be a very big disadvantage.. but if i let go... there wil oso be a very big disadvantage... some kiind soul on earth... tell me the correct way out... i cant make this decision....haha... wat a joke man.. the decision is in my hands.. but i dont know how to make them.. everytime.. when i am abt to fall.. i kept reminding myself.. i hav to help to settle the others problems... but now.. i dont even neo how to settle mine... it seems like some small little decision on the outside... but.. in the inside..its not as simple as u think it is... imagine.. the power n source of ur life.. is gone... imagine.. ur rainbow disappeared n all u hav is a piece of dark sky... tell me how to face this... itss really easier said then done.. i know.. i have to pick myself up.. but.. someone tell me how to pls... i dont hav the push to go on anymore... i dont.. every smile.. is every tear... in the end.. i still wasted my efforts... all my efforts... all tt i hav put in.. its a blank now... all i really wish now.. is tt things will be going fine for everyone.... tts all i really want.. n the rest.. i hav to learn to face it... wif a smile... or mayb a tear... time is all i need to face it... but.. 2 or 3 wks... is definitely not enough...i hope.. i will hav the ability to make ppl stop worrying abt wat i wrote... i hope.. tt i didnt hav any care n concern at all this yr.. i hope.. tt i can hide at the back stage... hide at the back stage.. wif a bed for me to lie on... if things are like tt.. it would be great wont it... (:
