Really dislike the way i am now, not knowing what i am doing, just doing everything because im tired, as though its my last shot im ever gonna give. Im gonna put everything down for once, and get myself back.
Has been long since i took a look at the beauty of nature around me, feeling refreshed by them. (:
hmm this feeling of being empty at night, have been really a stranger to me, perhaps visiting me at times when i forget all about warmth. (:
I want to feel my emotions, my eyes getting drenched, my heart breaking and smiling from time to time. (:
For once, i wanna lay down by myself, without you or even you there, and just be silent for that particular moment. For once, i wanna be weak, in front of me. For once, i wanna mess things up, having others to clear it for me.
No songs to express how i feel now, perhaps thats why i keep listening to korea songs, when i dont understand the lyrics at all. (:
hmm heys, i hate our way of communicating, our own language. That no one understands, of course. (: But sometimes i really wish we can change it. I want to feel you, right here. But i cant. i feel like continuing in chinese but its more not us. (: Perhaps its because you spoiled me, always taking in my words, and keeping ur own so that i wont worry. But i really hate it this way, its like why you can help me and i cant help you. Its totally unfair. I want a fair share of what you've done for me. Im really scare that even when you say goodbye, my heart and my ears both didnt recieve the message. I really hope that, when your in trouble, i can feel you. Im being a fool, believing that you still trust me, because after so long, i have still been doing the same. I dont want any one of my friends to be like us, because i know how it feels like. Memories getting vague, vision fading, but feeling still the same. Will you please, for once, tell me when your down or sad? Dont keep it to yourself ok? Worst of all, hurt yourself because of it. Let me suffer with you will you? Why is it always you suffering with me, not a single time the other way round? i hate you, to the very core, for this. Allowing me to enjoy life like i never did, allowing me to break down in front of you like a baby, and you keeping your tears to yourself, throwing away your enjoyment because you care for me. i dont want it this way. Will you wake up from this? please? You really suck for this. You are a stupid idiot. You owe me lots and you still suck. You are a stupid pig that is the worst on this whole universe that i hope that your are cursed that you are forever black and rotten. Till you admit this, i will continue hating you. (:
"Sometimes love, or tears will cause problems for us.
I love you, i love you, I just need you next to me. "
-Still by ANjell (:
alright im gonna take a break and find myself back!(: YEA! (:
Beautiful, isnt it? (: