Sunday, May 1, 2011
hmm ok im warning you guys first! :P the post im gonna type isnt gonna be a pleasant one and so... dont bother guessing who the person is and even if you know who it is pls just forget what i write and dont believe it ok!(: HAHAHA it might not be true.. :P HAHAHA best just dont read! :P my purpose of writing it out its because i wanna write it out, leave it here and get on with it. (: HAHAHA so.. here it goes! :D
hmm you left me nothing to fight for you, totally, when others bad mouth you. I tried, im sure i did. Did you? just for your information, when you throw a rubbish away, you want it back but you dont even bother to dig for it or look for it. A piece of rubbish cant walk. even if it can, it cant walk far. So, since you dont even bother finding it, why do you want it back?
I gave my trust to you umpteen times. What did you do with it? It wasnt once, it wasnt twice. It was numerous times, i cant remember it myself. Yes, i know its my fault for being stupid. But you, didnt even appreciate my stupidness. All you know are words, no actions. Well, we are the total opposite then. I dont have to say that i love you to mean that i love you. I dont have to speak your "desired" love language to mean that i care for you.
You say that you understand me, im speechless. Alright, enough of me. What about my team mates? You yourself said that you hate people to talk about your team. What about you scolding my own team in front of me? What did they do to you? They didnt do anything. You have no rights to scold them, when all you do is ask back that piece of rubbish that you threw away with your own self? Well, im telling you, my team mates picked up that piece thing you treat as "rubbish" and cherish it like a gem.
At least, the changed the rubbish into a gem, into something worthless in their eyes. At least, they bother to pick up the dirty, torn and tattered rubbish and clean it, polish it, repair it until it became a shiny gem. So, what rights do you have? Just to let you know, my team isnt for you to scold or look down on. Its for me to treasure and love. Not for you to vent out your anger. You can do it to me, i dont care. Not to my team mates.
Doesnt mean that i keep quiet, i dont feel anything. By scolding them, its worst then scolding me. So you'd better stop before i tell this right in your face.
All you said is that you trust me. Ha, which part of the script is it? If you like to write scripts, and make your life into a drama, you're more then welcome to. Just leave my friends out of it. They have something else better to do, then act with you in your favourite drama.
You know what? You are the one who turned me from someone who does things for others without asking for anything in return, into someone who does things for others, and into someone who does things, and into someone who does things so that others give something back in return. You are the one who did this to that piece of rubbish you thrown away.
If you are asking for a name, i can tell you we are the bestest friends of all. BFFs. Tell the whole world that then. If you can feel secure with it, go. Im telling you, that this, cannot beat friendship that both parties claim that they hate each other.
Whatever shit or rubbish you left behind, whatever things you thrown away, whatever things you trampled upon and requested for it again, others took it before you did. Grateful, for them. I wanna forgive you. Really, if you trust me, i do. But i really cant. It has been 2 years going 3 years.
At the end of it, all i can say is, i tried my best. (: I know it very well. I put in my 100% into whatever we had, whatever you needed. Guess, its time i stopped. Im not sure when you will actually realise that im talking about you here, hopefully someday you will. But even if you dont, its alright. (: I try, i was trying, i tried. At the end of the day, i do not regret a single bit. Because i can say, thats my all. (:
Woa.. :D i feel so great now! :D ok from now on, its a brand new life! :D Let the history rest, and let the end of the history be a new begining! :D
and I miss you already
10:54 AM
